My Castle

All my life I've built a castle of blocks,

But pushed time after time,

It has come crashing to the floor,

By a child who is (I'm told) less fortunate than I.

So I rebuild, rebuild, rebuild my castle walls,

Tonight I rebuild with tears in my eyes,

The towers of my castle in which I dream to reside,

The towers which, by your hand, are again destined to fall.

Mental Blocks

I try to prevent the stack of blocks

                                         That

                                 tower

                            high

                           in

                       my

              stomach

         from

   toppling

over

By sipping too-hot tea

(It burns my tongue)

To act as glue

Though I know it won't bind

And I can't

I can't

I can't speak

I try anyway.

Sharp short breaths

As the blocks begin to fall

Prevent words from being spoken

Make my hands clammy

Embarrass me

Because the architecture of my mind

Was off again

(Not quite up to standards)

Like it always has been.

To Be Alone

What does it mean to be alone?

To let the rain fall,
To be crushed by stars,
ground up into a fine paste,
splattered across the Universe.

So carefully scattered,
Like a finger painting all in black,
By a child who is too young to start school
But too old to wait another year.

Too old, she is told,
To spend her days lost,
With her imaginary friends,
The only kind she's ever known,

Save for the sweet golden friend
Who would lay at her feet,
All panting smiles and wagging tails,
But now gone, all the same.

So she sits alone,
Outside her apartment,
Letting the rain soak through,
Letting the stars crush her,

Will she always be alone?

Run

When the world tells you to run, listen.

Pull away from routine and heavy responsibility.

Go somewhere you've never been.

Do something that terrifies you.

Just get out.

For an hour, a day, a week.

Just run.

And so run, I will.

I will run and jump and climb 

I will climb until people look like ants 

Until the world is

Way

                       Way

                                            Down 

And the only thing left to do is

Just jump.

So I will jump

Feel the wind in my hair

Rushing, speeding enveloping my entire being

And all of this before I make a move

I will sit, and think, and wait.

Just breathe.

Breathe in the rich scent of Earth,

The scent of sunshine,

Or of freshly fallen rain,

The smells that make us run

The smells of life,

And with them,

Death

Here's to Fitting in

Here's to fitting in and forgetting who we are,

Just to be accepted we accept ourselves sub-par,

Blankly staring forward and not getting very far,

Just trying not to hit it, we crawl underneath the bar.

Under covers and blankets we hide from humanity,

Trying so hard to preserve our sanity,

Which we never really had in our state of vanity,

So in the end we resort to profanities.

We rebel against the world and rebel against the man,

We forget about our manners and drop our sirs and ma'ams,

We ignore all the rules and run all the scams,

Our families are shocked but frankly, my dear, we don't give a damn.

They make us want to write and that's no compliment,

We hate to complain, but have to lament,

About unrequited love and how they make us want to quit,

But let's forget that and call this a battle of wits.

Fear of Falling

Isn't it strange,

Things fall into place,

And fly out of control,

Not the other way around?

Yet man has a burning desire,

A will to fly,

And a fear of falling,

Do they keep their lives in chaos?

Not letting anything fall,

Letting everything fly,

Watching things crash,

Watching the lights zoom past.

All simply because they have a fear,

Because they won't let go,

Step off of a platform,

Let themselves fall into place.

Just taking a step,

Taking a risk,

It's all too much,

So they keep flying.

Keep flying past doors,

Where opportunities wait,

Flying past nooks and crannies and beautiful sights,

Never finding their place.

Falling Into Place

Everything falls into place,

Like music to a beat,

Like beams of sunshine beating down,

Light filtered by tall evergreens on an old dirt road,

This is where dreams belong.

Breathe in the scent of pine,

Breathe out and everything melts away,

All that remains is a circle,

The crunch of leaves beneath feet,

A soundtrack blaring words of truth.

Walking in time to music,

Music plays in time to life,

Life falls into place,

And just as quickly falls back out,

Always falling.

One day I'll catch myself landing exactly where I want to be,

Walking in time to the music,

A soundtrack blaring words of truth,

Right where dreams belong,

And realize I've been here all along.

____